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Submitted on
April 11, 2009
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Hey Dad,
This note is strictly for you....
How do you feel when you see me?
Are you disappointed? I bet you are. I`m sorry I`ll never be what you wanted me to be. But this is just who I am.
You know I still hate you for everything you did, and do, right?
But I`m not writing this to let you know that, because I hope you already understand that. But this is just a letter, asking if you could remind me where this all went wrong?
Where we started falling apart?
Maybe where we first started drifting off.
I know I don`t act like it, and maybe you wouldn`t guess it, but I miss the old you. The you who would hang with me and play video games and toss around a football with me. Where did that all go?
Down the drain I guess.
Do you even know if I`m alive half the time? I mean, we never really talk anymore.
A quick 'what`s up?' once in awhile isn`t much of a conversation.
Where are you?
What are you thinking about?
Are you worried about me and Mom and Jake?
Could you even care less?
These are answers I`ll never receive, and I understand that.
But what I can`t understand is why you can`t except me, or even try to strike up a conversation with me. Do you know how much it would help?
You have no idea about the suicide attempts, or the anger and depression I`m going through. I know you don`t know, Mom doesn`t even know.
Would you see me any differently if you did know?
Probably not. I`d still be the artist freak upstairs who you are disappointed in.
Dad, one more question.....
Do you know I still love you-the old you?
Dad....this is how i feel
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:iconemi-the-awesome-chic:
Emi-The-Awesome-Chic Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2010
I know how you feel..sometimes i'm in my room with something sharp..But I don't do anything because I know some people still need me out there..Not my family..My mom is one of them..and my little brother..he needs someone to look up to and it can't be my father. I don't know why my Mom and Father are still together..But I can get a couple clues..She is sick..she doesn't have a job..so my Mom can't divorce him..from all the utter crap she takes from him, I don't know why he is still here..so I understand exactly how you feel..
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:iconxxvampireprotectorxx:
XxvampireprotectorxX Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
thats like my life story right there. wanting to kill myself then thinking of my little brother and my mom ad my friends....my mom told me today that she wont divorce my stepdad because shes broke and hes making all of the money. its sad, and i am so sorry you have to go through this too
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:iconemi-the-awesome-chic:
I know how you feel..hopefully things will get better..
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:iconmcrmcr:
McrMcr Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
Aw thats almost like how I feel. I would be sitting in my room with something around my neck and I eventually had to realize, no one's coming to save me if I pull too hard. Especially not my parents. My dad is just so different from me now it sucks because we get in so many fights, and I feel bad you are going through something like that too because I don't think anyone should
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:iconxxvampireprotectorxx:
exactly! he wants me 2 do sports nd shit like tht, he doesn`t like my art, he doesn`t care about my writing, he just doesn`t care
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:iconmcrmcr:
McrMcr Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
my parents get pissed because I don't like sports like my siblings and I am horrible at school, but honestly, I don't give a fuck because drawing, writing, playing music is what I am good at and I love it. It shouldn't be up to them to decide what I like or what I'm good at, same for you. Drawing is the reason my dad had to drive half a mile to find me after getting yelled at in my room
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:iconxxvampireprotectorxx:
thnk u! i hate school! they sit there nd got me doing math problems nd research when tht type of crap will nvr help wat i`m gonna do 4 a living(artist, writer, etc.)nd yea, exactly! i`m not gonna stop b/cuz they aren`t happy with wat i do. my friend Chris said ';parents suck. they think they cn control us, ppl like u nd me. it`s not working tho. they want us 2 be something diff. nd we just cnt change.'
y did he drive half a mile?
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:iconmcrmcr:
McrMcr Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
'cause that's how far I walked when he found me
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:iconxxvampireprotectorxx:
o tht sucks. i`ve tried running from home....didn`t work out 2 well. i tried killing myself....a lot....if it wasn`t 4 a few friends nd this 1 guy i`m like, in love with talking me out of it, i wouldn`t be here right now
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:iconmcrmcr:
McrMcr Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
Plz don't kill yourself.... or try at that fact, you're a really good person and I know that people like you are what the world needs to set it straight and back on course. Think about Gerard and how he used to be suicidal, but now he's the one saving lives. It may seem like other people are stronger than you at times but that's only because they ARE the weaker ones just trying to bring you down to their level... so basically, yes, I am saying you could be the next Gerard Way
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